The Parent Ego State

In terms of function. The Parent ego state may be divided into the Nurturing Parent and the Critical Parent. In most cases, someone functioning as a Nurturing Parent behaves in a caring, concerned,  and protective manner but may sometimes appear overprotective. Someone functioning as a Critical Parent is experienced as an oppressive, prejudice, powerfull, intimidating, and controlling person who demands “yes” and “no” answer. Trusting neither self nor other, the Critical Parent calls on external authority to enforce his or her demands (Harris & Harris, 1985. pp. 223-224).

Too much of a Critical Parent result in aggression, while too little result in passivity. Too much Nurturing Parent results in an overbearing and inhibiting personality, while too little means an inconsiderate and uncaring personality (Dusay & Dusay, 1989, p. 408).

In the Parent ego state is recorded a modeled and taught concept of life. This unerasable concept is composed of events that actually happened in childhood. Tradition and values reside in the concept, although values as well as other information may need updating later in life by the person’s Adult ego state. The problem is that the individual internalizes this tape In a distorted fashion, recording both the distorted and the objective realities of what one’s parents were. Because the child is dependent on its parents, it is unable to comprehend that they were not God, but human, and thus made mistakes. As a result, the child grows to adulthood with a commingled but “ultimately right” Parent ego state that is filled with demands, directions, and dogmatic decisions. The Parent ego state, then, is the externally derived “have to” of the personality (Harris & Harris, 1985, pp. 14-18).

The Adult Ego State

The Adult ego state is the referee between the demands of the Parent ego state and the wants of the Child ego state. The Adult ego state adds the tought concept to the taught concept of the Parent ego state and the felt concept of the Child ego state. It provides the “how to” for the personality by asking “why” question and considering consequences. The Adult ego state is not only a functioning part of the personality but also an observable state, and it is internally derived. One of its major functions is to update the Parent ego state (Harris & Harris, 1985, pp. 17-18).

                The Adult ego state is not divided because it is unemotional and functions solely as a computer (Dusay & Dusay, 1989, p. 409). Therefore, to much adult results in a technically rational but boring individual not unlike Mr. spock of Star Trek fame, while too little adult result in an illogical an irrational individual (Dusay & Dusay, 1989, p. 437).

Strokes

In TA theory, the need for strokes is considered the basic motivation for any human social interaction an necessary to an individual’s healthy functioning (Dusay & Dusay, 1979, p. 377).

The most positive strokes come from parents who unconditionally accept their children. However, even if acceptances of children is conditional, the Child ego state will be happy if promised strokes are delivered (Harris & Harris, 1985, p. 45). As children grow, they receive strokes that may be either positive “I love you!” or negative “I hate you!” Althought naturally preferring positive strokes, children consider negative strokes better than no strokes at all (Woollams & Brown, 1979, p. 43).

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